


Smile

by fxntasia



Series: K-Pop Short Story Collection [4]
Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Crying, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Smile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24693541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxntasia/pseuds/fxntasia
Summary: "I just wanted to be the reason he smiled."
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Yoo Taeyang
Series: K-Pop Short Story Collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785202
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Smile

_ There was a time where we believed we would be happier together, only us two, because we thought we were absolutely perfect for one another. We thought we were the perfect two—soulmates, since we found each other comfortable. Since we understood one another so well, we figured we’d last forever, right? I thought my love was enough. I thought...I was enough, after the numerous times he told me...I was. _

__ Juho sighed, looking at the silver couple rings he had bought for his boyfriend and himself. He was content with everything; he had the boy he loved, and he felt so happy at his side. He couldn't wait for the new memories he’d make with Taeyang in the years to come; he could only hope Taeyang wanted the same, yet he didn’t know too well either about the boy’s thoughts. 

"Taeyang,” He called out for the boy, hiding the box behind his back. He held it carefully yet firmly in his grip; his footsteps echoed upon the wooden surface, not spotting him in the living room. “Where are you, love?” He asked softly, looking into the kitchen - no sight of Taeyang. He continued to walk, checking his room - no sight of Taeyang; he checked Taeyang’s room—nothing there either. He began to worry, and he tucked the box with the matching rings into his jeans’ pocket - shoving every door open. His heart began to pound, feeling the blood rush to his ears. He reached the bathroom, and he shook the doorknob - unable to open it. “Taeyang?” He knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” Taeyang called out to him from the other side, bringing relief to the older boy - his heart beginning to slow down.

“What are you up to?” Juho asked, leaning on the wall beside the bathroom door.

“I’m getting ready,” Taeyang said blandly. 

“Ready?” The older boy asked. He didn’t recall asking Taeyang on a date for their three-year anniversary.

“To leave.” 

Juho froze, smacking both his cheeks, “C-Can you repeat that? I-I,” He gulped dryly, “I think I misheard you-.” He jumped as the younger swung the door open, looking up at him slightly to meet his gaze, a serious look on his face. 

“Juho, you heard what I said. I’m leaving.” Taeyang spoke quietly, breaking eye contact with the older - looking away towards the opposite side. 

Before Juho could open his mouth to ask, Taeyang let out a sigh: “I don’t...feel at home with you anymore. Everything has just...become too bland for me, too...boring. I feel like you’re too repetitive in your actions, Juho. I feel like...I feel like you’re tired of me since you’re always the same-.”

“...You said it was fine.” Juho bit his lip, his heart panging against his chest as he could feel his breath shorten, “Y-You said—.”

“I know what I said; I’m fully aware of everything I’ve told you, but what I felt for you is no longer there, Baek Juho. What I felt for you, no—what I thought I felt for you isn’t there anymore. I don’t see myself with you much longer at this rate. I don’t find myself feeling love for you in that way anymore, nor do I find myself feeling loved. I know people are different, but everything you’ve done—you repeatedly do it. I thought you were unique, but you say the same fucking shit and do the same fucking things!!”

“...” Juho could not bring himself to say a word, yet he managed to choke out while covering his eyes with his palms, “...I thought I was able to make you smile this whole time,” His lip began to quiver as he etched a smile across his own lips, “I thought maybe...th-that just maybe...I-I’d make you smile...for many years to come.” He swallowed down saliva, blinking numerous times to force down the demanding tears that wished to escape by jumping off his eyelashes. 

Taeyang heard the cracks in Juho’s voice, yet he didn’t bring himself to say anything. He pulled his hand down as he had subconsciously tried to reach out to pull him into an embrace, but his heart seemingly ached if he tried to do so. He only sighed, not saying a word. He bit his inner cheek, unable to stare at Juho’s figure as he was just covering up his eyes - those lovely eyes - with his hands. He couldn’t. “...Thank you,” He merely whispered, pulling out his suitcase from the bathroom—he had put everything in before Juho had returned back home. 

Juho did nothing. 

He stood there pathetically, restraining in a sob; he simply listened to the sound of wheels rolling down the hallway towards the door. He slowly uncovered his eyes, watching as Taeyang exited their—no, his home. A tear hopped off his lash, falling onto his cheek; his heart pummeled against his chest continuously, choking up on his own oxygen, and he ran towards Taeyang - his own feet ordering themselves around. His hand reached out for the boy’s wrist before Taeyang closed the door, and he locked eyes with the younger boy.

Taeyang raised his brow, “Yes, Juho?”

“I-I’m sorry...I was not enough for you. I-I’m...sorry I wasn’t what you wanted, but I hope you find the right one for you. I-I hope...you find happiness and love.” Juho choked out, biting down on his lower lip - hoping a tear didn’t dare to escape in that instant.

Taeyang pulled his wrist away, “You don’t need to apologize. It was...it’s just not the same anymore, Juho. I loved what we had but maybe we were not meant to be after all…” His voice wavered, quickly looking away. 

Juho’s heartstrings were tugged at, wanting so desperately to comfort the younger boy. He reached his hand out to press against Taeyang’s cheek, to caress it with his thumb and hold him sweetly, yet Taeyang escaped his grasp - Taeyang left his view...he left his life. His hands clashed against the door instead, and his mustered-up cries escaped his eyes. His broken sobs left his lips, and he slid down to his knees with the aid of the door.

_Three years? I thought I was the one…_

His heart wouldn’t stop hurting. His heart wouldn’t stop shouting at him for being like he always was. His heart shouted at him for not being enough for the younger boy. 

The small box fell out of his pocket, opening up - resulting in the two rings sliding out. The sheer sight of them broke Juho.

An engine started, and the car began to move. 

Taeyang was leaving.

He was really leaving.

_ What we had meant nothing you like you claimed it did…, right?  _

Juho tossed his hair back, gasping for air as he couldn’t stop crying. He wondered where he went wrong. He wondered...what he could’ve done to stop the boy from leaving him, yet he knew it was selfish of him to stop him. 

_ “I’ll have to let go of you...if you ever want to find your happiness.” Juho’s thumb softly caressed Taeyang’s hand as their hands were intertwined. Taeyang hummed, “I’ll do the same, because your happiness is my priority although I doubt I’ll be happy without you.”  _

_ To think that was a year ago… _

Juho pulled out his phone, inputting the numbers to his password, and he went into the messages app to edit Taeyang’s contact; however, he found himself going straight to Rowoon’s number, texting his best friend. 

**Juho** : I thought he wouldn't leave me. I thought what we had was something irreplaceable, yet I have to let go, don't I? His happiness is more important. If he's happy, I should be happy for him right? He should be able to smile without it feeling forced, right? All I wanted was to the reason he smiled. All I wanted... was to keep making him smile, and happy... and loved

__


End file.
